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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Crazy Random Quotations - 163

Bruce Barton

If you can give your son or daughter only one gift, let it be enthusiasm.


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William James

Let everything you do be done as if it makes a difference.


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Benjamin Franklin

Whoever feels pain in hearing a good character of his neighbor, will feel a pleasure in the reverse. And those who despair to rise in distinction by their virtues, are happy if others can be depressed to a level of themselves.


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Jerry Coleman

There's a shot up the alley. Oh, it's just foul.


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R. H. Delaney

Love builds bridges where there are none.


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George Klingle

Days change so many things -- yes, hours -- we see so differently in suns and showers.


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Bell Hooks, O Magazine, December 2003

Life-transforming ideas have always come to me through books.


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Mortimer Caplin

There is one difference between a tax collector and a taxidermist- the taxidermist leaves the hide.


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Hellen Keller

One's life story cannot be told with complete veracity. A true autobiography would have to be written in states of mind, emotions, heartbeats, smiles and tears not in months and years, or physical events. Life is marked off on the soul by feelings, not by dates.


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Clement of Rome

How blessed and amazing are God's gifts, dear friends Life with immortality, splendor with righteousness, truth with confidence, faith with assurance, self-control with holiness And all these things are within our comprehension.


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Richard Wagner

I write music with an exclamation point


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Publilius Syrus

The fear of death is more to be dreaded than death itself.



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