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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Quotations - 150
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Ronald Reagan
Even Albert Einstein reportedly needed help on his 1040 form.
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Dale Carnegie
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
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Norman Mailer
One thing I've learned in all these years is not to make love when you really don't feel it there's probably nothing worse you can do to yourself than that.
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Oscar Wilde, As he passed through customs
I have nothing to declare but my genius.
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Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Let us, then be up and doing, With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labour and to wait.
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Dag Hammarskjold, newspaper quote of the day
A successful lie is doubly a lie; an error which has to be corrected is a heavier burden than the truth.
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Jennie Jerome Churchill
Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light.
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Kahlil Gibran
The best of men is he who blushes when you praise him and remains silent when you defame him.
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William Shakespeare
I pray thee cease thy counsel, Which falls into mine ears as profitless
as water in a sieve.
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Jacques Derrida
To pretend, I actually do the thing: I have therefore only pretended to pretend.
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Paul Brown
When you win, say nothing. When you lose, say less.
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Whitney Moore, Jr.
We create an environment where it is alright to hate, to steal, to cheat, and to lie if we dress it up with symbols of respectability, dignity and love.
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