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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Random Quotations - 145
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Howard Newton
People forget how fast you did a job - but they remember how well you did it.
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Mary Pettibone Poole
He who laughs, lasts
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Sophie Kerr
The longing to produce great inspirations didn't produce anything but more longing.
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Horatio Nelson
Desperate affairs require desperate remedies.
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Charles Buxton
To make pleasures pleasant, shorten them.
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Frank Zappa
Art is making something out of nothing and selling it.
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Bob Wells
For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
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Danish proverb
Where God has his church the Devil will have his chapel.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
What is a weed A plant whose virtues have never been discovered.
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Percival Arland Ussher
A man does not die of love or his liver or even of old age he dies of being a man.
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H. L. Mencken
The most common of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind.
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Jerry Coleman
There is someone warming up in the Giants' bullpen, but he's obscured by his number.
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