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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Quotations - 170
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Thomas Hobbes
Humans are driven by a perpetual and restless desire of power.
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Kenneth Patchen
The best hope is that one of these days the ground will get disgusted enough just to walk away - leaving people with nothing more to stand on than what they have so bloody well stood for up to now.
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Calvin Trillin
Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucini, but sharing the burden of finding the fettucini restaurant in the first place.
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Albert Einstein
No, this trick won't work...How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love
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Doris Fleeson
It is occasionally possible to charge hell with a bucket of water, but against stupidity the gods themselves struggle in vain.
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Rita Mae Brown
The reward for conformity was that everyone liked you except yourself.
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Ruth Gordon
To be somebody, you must last.
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H.L. Mencken
It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.
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John Locke
A sound mind in a sound body is a short but full description of a happy state in this world.
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Thomas Fuller
Tis not every question that deserves an answer.
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Thomas Alva Edison
To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.
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John F. Kennedy, speech at The American University, Washington, D.C., June 10, 1963
Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man. And man can be as big as he wants. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.
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