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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Random Quotations - 126
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Ronald Reagan, Address to the Nation, Jan 16, 1984
History teaches that wars begin when governments believe the price of aggression is cheap.
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Mario Van Peebles
History is written by the winners. The books say the Indians were bad guys and the whites just needed a little land. It's like, Excuse me, let me take your car. I'm discovering it. I'm putting my flag on your windshield.
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Franklin P. Jones
Originality is the art of concealing your source.
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Henri Bergson
The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.
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John F. Kennedy
The greatest enemy of the truth is very often not the lie--delierate, contrived, and dishonest, but the myth persistent, peruasive, and unrealistic. Belief in myths allows the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.
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Sen Lloyd Bentsen, D-Texas
If Jerry Brown is the answer, it must be a very peculiar question.
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Henry Ford
There is one rule for the industrialist and that is: Make the best quality of goods possible at the lowest cost possible, paying the highest wages possible.
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Confucius
Virtue is more to man than either water or fire. I have seen men die from treading on water and fire, but I have never seen a man die from treading the course of virtue.
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Henry James, "The Ambassadors", Book Fifth, Chapter 2
People can be in general pretty well trusted, of course--with the clock of their freedom ticking as loud as it seems to do here--to keep an eye on the fleeting hour.
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Teena Booth
If there is one thing worse than being an ugly duckling in a house of swans, it's having the swans pretend there's no difference.
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Fyodor Dostoevsky
The degree of civilization in a society can be judged by entering its prisons.
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Oprah Winfrey
Though I am grateful for the blessings of wealth, it hasn't changed who I am. My feet are still on the ground. I'm just wearing better shoes.
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