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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Funny Random Short Quotations - 111

Hawkeye and Trapper, M*A*S*H

Give me an incubator or give me death!


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Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures

Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street- cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact.


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William James

The great use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.


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Benjamin Franklin

It is easier to prevent bad habits than to break them.


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Samuel Johnson

A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other.


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Jeannette Rankin

You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.


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Annie Besant

Never forget that life can only be nobly inspired and rightly lived if you take it bravely and gallantly, as a splendid adventure in which you are setting out into an unknown country, to meet many a joy, to find many a comrade, to win and lose many a battle.


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Rene Descartes

Cogito ergo sum.


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J.B. Priestley

One of the delights known to age, and beyond the grasp of youth, is that of Not Going.


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John Milton

He also serves who only stands and waits.


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John Dryden

But far more numerous was the herd of such, Who think too little and who talk too much.


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John Keats

The imagination of a boy is healthy, and the mature imagination of a man is healthy but there is a space of life between, in which the soul is in a ferment, the character undecided, the way of life uncertain, the ambition thick-sighted thence proceeds mawkishness.



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