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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Funniest Random Short Quotations - 199

Ambrose Gwinett Bierce

The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.


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Louise Beal

Love thy neighbour as yourself, but choose your neighbourhood.


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William Feather

The wisdom of the wise and the experience of the ages is preserved into perpetuity by a nation's proverbs, fables, folk sayings and quotations.


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Hippocrates

To do nothing is sometimes a good remedy.


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Richard M. Nixon

Sure there are dishonest men in local government. But there are dishonest men in national government too.


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Bertrand Russell

To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness.


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Pierre Abelard

The beginning of wisdom is found in doubting; by doubting we come to the question, and by seeking we may come upon the truth.


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Ellen DeGeneres

I was coming home from kindergarten--well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves.


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Deane Jordan

Although rumors persist to the contrary, there were no deaths while making the movie Ben Hur.


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Yeghishe

If a nation is ruled by two kings, both the kings and their subjects will perish.


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Mark Coggins, "The Immortal Game" (novel)

Einstein said that God does not play dice with the universe. He was right, but not in the way he meant. God doesn’t play dice with the universe because the universe doesn’t need him. The craps table is set up and running. Whether or not God put it there is besides the point.


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Carl Von Clausewitz, quoted by Gene Hackman in "Crimson Tide"

War is a continuation of politics by other means.



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