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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Humorous Random Short Quotes - 75

Sir Francis Bacon

Silence is the virtue of fools.


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Margaret Mitchell

Until you lose your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was or what freedom really is.


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Billy Madison

Billy Hey I'm trying to score points with the teacher today. DON'T SCREW IT UP. 3rd Grader I dare you to touch her boobs. Billy Touch her boobs That's assault brotha...... Ya double dare me


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Howard Aiken

Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.


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Charlie Chaplin

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.


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Roger Lewin

Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to solve.


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Ray Kroc

The quality of a leader is reflected in the standards they set for themselves.


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Rob Brown

If all the world is a stage and life is just a play upon it, get me two seats in the stalls.


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Marcus Terentius Varro, On Agriculture

The longest part of the journey is said to be the passing of the gate.


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Humphrey Bogart

The only reason to have money is to tell any SOB in the world to go to hell.


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Heini Arnold

As long as we think we can save ourselves by our own will power, we will only make the evil in us stronger than ever.


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Robert Millikan

I conceive the essential task of religion to be to develop the consciences, the ideals, and the aspirations of mankind.



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