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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Random Short Quotes - 75
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Sir Francis Bacon
Silence is the virtue of fools.
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Margaret Mitchell
Until you lose your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was or what freedom really is.
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Billy Madison
Billy Hey I'm trying to score points with the teacher today. DON'T SCREW IT UP. 3rd Grader I dare you to touch her boobs. Billy Touch her boobs That's assault brotha...... Ya double dare me
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Howard Aiken
Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.
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Charlie Chaplin
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
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Roger Lewin
Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to solve.
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Ray Kroc
The quality of a leader is reflected in the standards they set for themselves.
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Rob Brown
If all the world is a stage and life is just a play upon it, get me two seats in the stalls.
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Marcus Terentius Varro, On Agriculture
The longest part of the journey is said to be the passing of the gate.
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Humphrey Bogart
The only reason to have money is to tell any SOB in the world to go to hell.
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Heini Arnold
As long as we think we can save ourselves by our own will power, we will only make the evil in us stronger than ever.
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Robert Millikan
I conceive the essential task of religion to be to develop the consciences, the ideals, and the aspirations of mankind.
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