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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Clever Random Short Quotations - 158
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Benjamin Franklin
He that would live in peace and at ease, must not speak all he knows nor judge all he sees.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
I think one way police departments could make some money would be to hold a yard sale of murder weapons. Many people, for example, could probably use a cheap ice pick.
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Anon.
If a trainstation is where the train stops, what's a workstation...
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The Talmud
Beware of too much laughter, for it deadens the mind and produces oblivion.
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Oliver Wendell Holmes
Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke.
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Lucille Ball
Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.
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Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
All things must change to something new, to something strange.
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Judy Garland
Be a first rate version of yourself, not a second rate version of someone else.
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Henri De Montherlant
We like someone because. We love someone although.
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William E. Channing
Nothing which has entered into our experience is ever lost.
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Mary MacCracken
Level with your child by being honest. Nobody spots a phony quicker than a child.
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Emily Elizabeth Dickinson
Faith--is the Pierless Bridge Supporting what We see Unto the Scene that We do not.
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