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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Short Quotes - 30
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John Fitzgerald Kennedy
A nation which has forgotten the quality of courage which in the past has been brought to public life is not as likely to insist upon or regard that quality in its chosen leaders today--and in fact we have forgotten.
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Woody Allen
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
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William Shakespeare
Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind.
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Oscar Wilde
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
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Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo
There is neither happiness nor unhappiness in this world; there is only the comparison of one state with another. Only a man who has felt ultimate despair is capable of feeling ultimate bliss. It is necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good life is to live.
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E. J. Smith, 1907, Captain, RMS Titanic
When anyone asks me how I can best describe my experience in nearly forty years at sea, I merely say, uneventful. Of course there have been winter gales, and storms and fog and the like. But in all my experience, I have never been in any accident... or any sort worth speaking about. I have seen but one vessel in distress in all my years at sea. I never saw a wreck and never have been wrecked nor was I ever in any predicament that threatened to end in disaster of any sort.
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William Shakespeare, "The Merry Wives of Windsor", Act 1 scene 4
We burn daylight.
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Dorothea Dix
In a world where there is so much to be done. I felt strongly impressed that there must be something for me to do.
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Lao Tzu
He who conquers others is strong He who conquers himself is mighty.
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Anon.
Real programmers don't write in PLI. PLI is for programmers who can't decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN.
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Thomas Neill
Of those who say nothing, few are silent.
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Mike Gill
Money, the root of all evil...but the cure for all sadness.
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