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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Short Quotations - 200
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Socrates
I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance.
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Jules Feiffer
The big mistake that men make is that when they turn thirteen or fourteen and all of a sudden they've reached puberty, they believe that they like women. Actually, you're just horny. It doesn't mean you like women any more at twenty-one than you did at ten.
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Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire
Superstition is to religion what astrology is to astronomy the mad daughter of a wise mother.
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Moliere
Everyone has a right to his own course of action.
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Unknown
Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.
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Unknown
To err is human, to blame the next guy even more so.
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Erma Bombeck
I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food.
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Jeremy Collier
There are few things reason can discover with so much certainty and ease as its own insufficiency.
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Assyrian Proverb
Gossip needs no carriage.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid-gold baby Maybe we'll never know.
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H. Jackson Brown Jr.
When you hear a kind word spoken about a friend, tell him so.
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Buddha (563 - 483 B.C.)
However many holy words you read, However many you speak, What good will they do you, If you do not act upon them?
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