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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Random Short Quotes - 145
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Herman Wouk
Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.
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William Shakespeare, "Othello", Act 3 scene 3
Speak to me as to thy thinkings, As thou dost ruminate, and give thy worst of thoughts
The worst of words.
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Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
If you look long enough into the void the void begins to look back through you.
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Mark Twain
How little a thing can make us happy when we feel that we have earned it.
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Roy Hattersley
In politics, being ridiculous is more damaging than being extreme.
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Friederich Nietzsche, quoted in "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" (movie)
Blessed are the forgetful for they get the better even of their blunders.
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Cicero
The absolute good is not a matter of opinion but of nature.
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Albert P. Ryder
Have you ever seen an inchworm crawl up a leaf or a twig, and then, clinging to the very end, revolve in the air, feeling for something, to reach something That's like me. I am trying to find something out there beyond the place on which I have footing.
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T. S. Eliot, Quoted in the May, 24 edition of "The Montreal Gazette"
An election is coming. Universal peace is declared and the foxes have sincere interest in prolonging the lives of the poultry.
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Robert Burns
The best-laid schemes o' mice an 'menGang aft agley.
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Euripides
A second wife is hateful to the children of the first a viper is not more hateful.
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Edmund Burke
There is no safety for honest men but by believing all possible evil of evil men.
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