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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Short Quotations - 159
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Anne Frank, The diary of Anne Frank
In spite of everything that has happened, I still believe that people are really good at heart.
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Jean Iris Murdoch
The absolute yearning of one human body for another particular body and its indifference to substitutes is one of life's major mysteries.
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Publilius Syrus
A rolling stone gathers no moss.
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Edward Morgan Forster
If I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country.
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John Malkovich
It's not a field, I think, for people who need to have success every day if you can't live with a nightly sort of disaster, you should get out. I wouldn't describe myself as lacking in confidence, but I would just say that the ghosts you chase you never catch.
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William Golding, Lord of The Flies
The greatest ideas are the simplest.
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Grantland Rice, "Alumunus Football," Only the Brave and Other Poems, p. 144 (1941)
For when the One Great Scorer comes To write against your name,
He marks-not that you won or lost-
But how you played the game.
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Benjamin Franklin
But in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.
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Frederick Douglas
No man can put a chain about the ankle of his fellow man without at last finding the other end fastened about his own neck.
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Thomas Paine
When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary.
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V. S. Pritchett
The kingdoms of fantasy and mirth are longlasting and not of this world.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared.
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