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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Short Quotes - 39
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Anatole France
People who have no weaknesses are terrible there is no way of taking advantage of them.
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Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
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James Goldsmith
The first time I read an excellent work, it is to me just as if I gained a new friend; and when I read over a book I have perused before, it resembles the meeting of an old one.
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Erma Bombeck
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
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Wilbert Donald Gough
In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person.
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Mark Twain
Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nothing, at last, is sacred; but the integrity of your own mind.
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Katherine Hepburn
If you obey all of the rules, you miss all of the fun.
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Mark Twain
Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
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Rodney Dangerfield
Everyone gets their rough day. No one gets a free ride. Today so far, I had a good day. I got a dial tone.
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Werner Karl Heisenberg
Not only is the universe stranger than we think, it is stranger than we can think.
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Frank Moore Colby
Clever people seem not to feel the natural pleasure of bewilderment, and are always answering questions when the chief relish of a life is to go on asking them.
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