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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Funniest Random Short Quotes - 39

Anatole France

People who have no weaknesses are terrible there is no way of taking advantage of them.


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Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.


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James Goldsmith

The first time I read an excellent work, it is to me just as if I gained a new friend; and when I read over a book I have perused before, it resembles the meeting of an old one.


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Erma Bombeck

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.


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Wilbert Donald Gough

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person.


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Mark Twain

Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.


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Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nothing, at last, is sacred; but the integrity of your own mind.


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Katherine Hepburn

If you obey all of the rules, you miss all of the fun.


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Mark Twain

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.


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Rodney Dangerfield

Everyone gets their rough day. No one gets a free ride. Today so far, I had a good day. I got a dial tone.


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Werner Karl Heisenberg

Not only is the universe stranger than we think, it is stranger than we can think.


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Frank Moore Colby

Clever people seem not to feel the natural pleasure of bewilderment, and are always answering questions when the chief relish of a life is to go on asking them.



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