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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Crazy Random Short Quotations - 123
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Roger Waters, Pink Floyd, The Dark Side of the Moon
All you touch and all you see, is all your life will ever be.
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Edward Chilton
I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.
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Bertrand Russell
The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego ordinary pleasures themselves and find compensation in interfering with the pleasures of others.
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Albert Einstein
The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is at all comprehensible.
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Thomas Fuller
Enquire not what boils in another's pot.
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Abraham Lincoln, (attributed)
When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and that is my religion.
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Steve Martini
The problem most people have with resisting temptation is that they never really want to discourage it altogether.
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Emily Dickinson
Hope is a thing with feathers That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without words
And never stops at all.
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La Rochefoucauld
There is no accident so disastrous that a clever man cannot derive some profit from it nor any so fortunate that a fool cannot turn it to his disadvantage.
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Comte DeBussy-Rabutin
Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.
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Plato
The true lover of learning then must his earliest youth, as far as in him lies, desire all truth. . .He whose desires are drawn toward knowledge in every form will be absorbed in the pleasures of the soul, and will hardly feel bodily pleasures- -I mean, if he be a true philosopher and not a sham one. . .Then how can he who has the magnificence of mind and is the spectator of all times and all existence, think much of human life He cannot. Or can such a one account death fearful No indeed.
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George Bernard Shaw, Pygmalion (1916) preface
It is impossible for an Englishman to open his mouth without making some other Englishman hate or despise him.
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