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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Short Quotations - 189
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Voltaire
Appreciation is a wonderful thing It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.
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Sydney Harris
We have not passed that subtle line between childhood and adulthood until we move from the passive voice to the active voice-that is, until we have stopped saying 'It got lost,' and say, 'I lost it.'
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Virgil
Look with favour upon a bold beginning.
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Jeff Warner
We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.
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Unknown, Often attributed to Abraham Lincoln
I see in the near future a crisis approaching that unnerves me and causes me to tremble for the safety of my country. . . . Corporations have been enthroned, an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money-power of the country will endeavor to prolong its reign by working upon the prejudices of the people until the wealth is aggregated in a few hands and the Republic is destroyed.
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Maureen Dowd
The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.
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Benjamin Disraeli
When we would prepare the mind by a forcible appeal, an opening quotation is a symphony preluding on the chords those tones we are about to harmonize.
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Stephen Covey
Live out of your imagination, not your history.
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Arthur Schlesinger, Jr.
Science and technology revolutionize our lives, but memory, tradition and myth frame our response. Expelled from individual consciousness by the rush of change, history finds its revenge by stamping the collective unconsciousness with habits, values, expectations, dreams. The dialectic between past and future will continue to form our lives.
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Ocean\'s Eleven
Reuben Second most successful robbery. The Flamingo in '71. This guy actually tasted fresh oxygen before they grabbed him. Of course, he was breathing out of a hose for the next three weeks. God damn hippy.
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Andrew Schneider
It's no accident that the church and the graveyard stand side by side. The city of the dead sleeps encircled by the city of the living.
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Robert Anton Wilson, The Illuminatus Trilogy
Only the insane is absolutely certain.
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