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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Random Short Quotations - 171
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Lois McMaster Bujold
His mother had often said, When you choose an action, you choose the consequences of that action. She had emphasized the corollary of this axiom even more vehemently when you desired a consequence you had damned well better take the action that would create it.
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Frederick The Great
If my soldiers were to begin to think, not one would remain in the ranks.
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Kareem Abdul-Jabar
It's hard for young players to see the big picture. They just see three or four years down the road.
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Lewis Carroll
Surely your gladness need not be the less for the thought that you will one day see a brighter dawn than this - when lovelier sights will meet your eyes than any waving trees or rippling waters - when angel-hands shall undraw your curtains, and sweeter tones than ever loving Mother breathed shall wake you to a new and glorious day - and when all the sadness, and the sin, that darkened life on this little earth, shall be forgotten like the dreams of a night that is past!
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Mary Schmich
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. The older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
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Alan Alda
Be brave enough to live creatively. The creative is the place where no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. You cannot get there by bus, only by hard work, risking and by not quite knowing what you are doing. What you will discover will be wonderful; yourself.
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Kurt Vonnegut, Timequake, 1997
I am eternally grateful.. for my knack of finding in great books, some of them very funny books, reason enough to feel honored to be alive, no matter what else might be going on.
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Hindustani Proverb
When an elephant is in trouble even a frog will kick him.
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Ronald Reagan
I have only one thing to say to the tax increasers. Go ahead-make my day.
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James Russell Lowell
Solitude is as needful to the imagination as society is wholesome for the character.
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Homer
In saffron-colored mantle, from the tides of ocean rose the morning to bring light to gods and men.
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William Fullbright
We have the power to do any damn fool thing we want to do, and we seem to do it about every 10 minutes.
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