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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Short Quotes - 100
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Austin Powers International Man of Mystery
Dr. Evil I demand the sum... OF 1 MILLION DOLLARS.
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Real Live Preacher
The only comfort comes in thinking about how nice it was to know them, and how nice it was to brush against goodness for a season.
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Julius Caesar
Veni, vidi, vici. I came, I saw, I conquered
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Dan Quayle
Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it.
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Tryon Edwards
To be good, we must do good; and by doing good we take a sure means of being good, as the use and exercise of the muscles increase their power.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you make ships in a bottle, I bet the thing that really makes your heart sink is when you look in, and there at the wheel is Captain Termite.
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William Shakespeare
Oh, that way madness lies let me shun that.
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Gary Zukav, "The Dancing Wu Li Masters"
Acceptance without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western religion, rejection without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western science.
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Dwight D. Eisenhower
On that day let us solemnly remember the sacrifices of all those who fought so valiantly, on the seas, in the air, and on foreign shores, to preserve our heritage of freedom, and let us reconsecrate ourselves to the task of promoting an enduring peace so that all their efforts shall not have been in vain.
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James Reston
This is the devilish thing about foreign affairs they are foreign and will not always conform to our whim.
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James M. Cain
The postman always rings twice.
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Ellen Goodman
In journalism, there has always been a tension between getting it first and getting it right.
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