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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Short Quotes - 109
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Anonymous
The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention.
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Richard Milhous Nixon
I can see clearly now ... that I was wrong in not acting more decisively and more forthrightly in dealing with Watergate...
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Marcus Aelius Aurelius
I don't believe in pessimism. If something doesn't come up the way you want, forge ahead. If you think it's going to rain, it will.
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Lt. Col. (Ret.) Ralph Peters, Interview in American Heritage
The shah always falls in the end, Saddam always turns on you, and the Saudis always betray you. If we support evil, the long-term price is almost always too high.
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Pearl Sydenstricker Buck
The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible, and achieve it, generation after generation.
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Pliny the Younger
There is nothing to write about, you say. Well then, write and let me know just this - that there is nothing to write about or tell me in the good old style if you are well. That's right. I am quite well.
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Menander
The character of a man is known from his conversations.
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Johnson
Being reproached for giving to an unworthy person, Aristotle said, I did not give it to the man, but to humanity.
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Goethe
Daring ideas are like chessmen moved forward. They may be beaten, but they may start a winning game.
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William Butler Yeats
Too long a sacrifice Can make a stone of the heart.
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Sir Winston Churchill
Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash.
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Charles Mathias, Jr.
The brown bag, of course, had its imperfections. While some kids carried roast beef sandwiches, others had peanut butter. I have no way of knowing if all of those brown bags contained 'nutritionally adequate diets.' But I do know that those brown bags and those lunch pails symbolized parental love and responsibility.
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