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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humour Random Short Quotes - 104
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Leo Buscaglia
No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat and no amount of masking tape can ever totally remove his fur from your couch.
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Aristotle
With regard to excellence, it is not enough to know, but we must try to have and use it.
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Henry David Thoreau
In what concerns you much, do not think that you have companions know that you are alone in the world.
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Albert Einstein
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
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Emily Dickinson
My friends are my estate.
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Ogden Nash
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
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Leo Tolstoy
In the name of God, stop a moment, cease your work, look around you.
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David Starr Jordan
The world stands aside to let anyone pass who knows where he is going.
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US Supreme Court
Long ago we stated the reason for labour organizations. We said that union was essential to give labourers opportunity to deal on an equality with their employers.
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Coming to America
Cleo McDowell Look... me and the McDonald's people got this little misunderstanding. See, they're McDonald's... I'm McDowell's. They got the Golden Arches, mine is the Golden Arcs. They got the Big Mac, I got the Big Mick. We both got two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles and onions, but their buns have sesame seeds. My buns have no seeds.
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Tennessee Williams, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1955)
A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with.
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Saint Jerome
It is worse still to be ignorant of your ignorance.
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