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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Clever Random Short Quotes - 128

Confucius

The superior man acts before he speaks, and afterwards speaks according to his action.


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Francois de La Rochefoucauld, Reflexions ou Sentences et Maximes Morales

There are very few women in society whose virtue outlasts their beauty.


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Grand Heidrich

If you spend too much time warming up, you'll miss the race. If you don't warm up at all, you may not finish the race.


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George Washington

Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation for 'tis better to be alone than in bad company.


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Lyndon B. Johnson, December 13, 1963

We can draw lessons from the past, but we cannot live in it.


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Mae West

Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried.


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Mikhail Sergeyevich Gorbachev

Surely, God on high has not refused to give us enough wisdom to find ways to bring us an improvement ... in relations between the two great nations on earth.


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Donald Harington

There is only one way to come into this world there are too many ways to leave it.


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Voltaire

Animals have these advantages over man: they never hear the clock strike, they die without any idea of death, they have no theologians to instruct them, their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome and unpleasant ceremonies, their funerals cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits over their wills.


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Rush Hour

Carter This is the United States of James Carter here. I'm the president, I'm the emperor, I'm the king. I'm Michael Jackson, you Tito


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Walter Bagehot

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.


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Albert Einstein

Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence.



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