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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Random Short Quotes - 135
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Pablo Picasso
Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.
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Homer, The Odyssey
May the gods grant you all things which your heart desires, and may they give you a husband and a home and gracious concord, for there is nothing greater and better than this -when a husband and wife keep a household in oneness of mind, a great woe to their enemies and joy to their friends, and win high renown.
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Alice Roosevelt Longworth, from Mrs. L. Conversations with Alice Roosevelt Longworth
Harding was not a bad man, he was just a slob.
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Kahlil Gibran
All that spirits desire, spirits attain.
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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity.
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Rita Mae Brown
Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.
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Voltaire
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
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Bum Philips
You may not be in a class by yourself, but it sure doesn't take long to call the roll.
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So I Married an Axe Murderer
Charlie Woman... woe-man... whoooa-man. She was a thief, you got to believe, she stole my heart and my cat. Judy, Betty, Josie and those hot Pussycats... they made me horny, on Saturday morning... girls of cartoo-ins will leave me in ruins... I want to to be Betty's Barney. Jane... get me off this crazy thing... called love.
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Dietrich Bonhoeffer
The test of the morality of a society is what it does for its children.
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William Wordsworth
How does the Meadow flower its bloom unfold Because the lovely little flower is free Down to its root, and in that freedom bold.
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Plato
Thinking The talking of the soul with itself.
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