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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Random Short Quotes - 105
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Susan Jeffers
Feel the fear and do it anyway.
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Ayn Rand
Thanksgiving is a typically American holiday...The lavish meal is a symbol of the fact that abundant consumption is the result and reward of production.
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Mark Twain
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
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William Shakespeare, "The Tempest", Act 1 scene 2
I will be correspondent to command, And do my spiriting gently.
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George Santayana
Society is like the air; necessary to breathe, but insufficient to live on.
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Sir Richard Francis Burton
Do what thy manhood bids thee do, from none but self expect applause; He noblest lives and noblest dies who makes and keeps his self-made laws.
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William Ralph Inge
A nation is a society united by delusions about its ancestry and by common hatred of its neighbors.
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Denis Diderot
There is no moral precept that does not have something inconvenient about it.
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H. L. Mencken, A Mencken Chrestomathy
There is always an easy solution to every human problem -- neat, plausible, and wrong.
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Stephen Crane
Think as I think said the man, or you are abominable. You are a toad. And after I had thought on it, I said I will then, be a toad.
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Charles De Gaulle
How do you govern a country which has 246 different kinds of cheese?
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e e cummings
for whatever we lose (like a you or a me) it's always ourselves we find in the sea
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