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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Very Funny Random Short Quotes - 70

Woodrow Wilson

One cool judgment is worth a dozen hasty councils. The thing to do is to supply light and not heat.


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Robert A. Heinlein

Remind me to write an article on the compulsive reading of news. The theme will be that most neuroses can be traced to the unhealthy habit of wallowing in the troubles of five billion strangers.


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Chinese Proverb

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for the rest of his life.


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Clyde B. Aster

When someone tells you something defies description, you can be pretty sure he's going to have a go at it anyway.


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Lewis Ward

Your problems and mine, they are nothing new. They are all just another small part of the generic nightmare.


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Franklin Delano Roosevelt

The only sure bulwark of continuing liberty is a government strong enough to protect the interests of the people, and a people strong enough and well enough informed to maintain its sovereign control over the goverment.


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Miguel de Cervantes

There are only two families in the world, the Haves and Have-Nots.


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William Shakespeare, Hamlet, 1600

Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind.


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Stephen R. Donaldson, The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant

There is only one way to hurt someone who has lost everything -- give him back something broken.


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Erich Fromm

The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal.


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J. Arthur Thomson

The most powerful factors in the world are clear ideas in the minds of energetic men of good will.


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Samuel Goldwyn

A Hospital is no place to be sick.



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