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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Short Quotes - 70
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Woodrow Wilson
One cool judgment is worth a dozen hasty councils. The thing to do is to supply light and not heat.
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Robert A. Heinlein
Remind me to write an article on the compulsive reading of news. The theme will be that most neuroses can be traced to the unhealthy habit of wallowing in the troubles of five billion strangers.
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Chinese Proverb
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for the rest of his life.
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Clyde B. Aster
When someone tells you something defies description, you can be pretty sure he's going to have a go at it anyway.
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Lewis Ward
Your problems and mine, they are nothing new. They are all just another small part of the generic nightmare.
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Franklin Delano Roosevelt
The only sure bulwark of continuing liberty is a government strong enough to protect the interests of the people, and a people strong enough and well enough informed to maintain its sovereign control over the goverment.
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Miguel de Cervantes
There are only two families in the world, the Haves and Have-Nots.
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William Shakespeare, Hamlet, 1600
Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind.
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Stephen R. Donaldson, The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant
There is only one way to hurt someone who has lost everything -- give him back something broken.
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Erich Fromm
The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal.
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J. Arthur Thomson
The most powerful factors in the world are clear ideas in the minds of energetic men of good will.
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Samuel Goldwyn
A Hospital is no place to be sick.
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