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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Short Quotations - 169
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Plato
As empty vessels make the loudest sound, so they that have least with are the greatest babblers.
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Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
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Spanish Proverb
Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry.
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Niels Bohr
An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.
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Antoine De Saint-Exupery
Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction.
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Cynthia Nelms
Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy.
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Douglas Adams
The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79.
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Samuel Butler, The Way of All Flesh, Chapter 77
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all.
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Socrates
Remember what is unbecoming to do is also unbecoming to speak of.
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George Bernard Shaw, The Philanderer (1898) act 2
The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me.
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Shimon Peres
He restored the Bible to its people, he restored the people to the Bible.
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Sonia Kovevsky
Say what you know, do what you must, come what may.
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