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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Short Quotations - 120
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Julie Morgenstern
If you're afraid to let someone else see your weakness, take heart Nobody's perfect. Besides, your attempts to hide your flaws don't work as well as you think they do.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it.
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Colin Powell
Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it.
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Dwight D Eisenhower
When you appeal to force, there's one thing you must never do - lose.
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Robert Ardrey
Human war has been the most successful of our cultural traditions.
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Logan Pearsall Smith
How many of our daydreams would darken into nightmares if there seemed any danger of their coming true
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Mignon McLaughlin
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
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Bill Cosby, Time Flies
One of the great mistakes that can be made by a man of my age is to get involved in athletic competition with children--unless, of course, they are under six. And even then, stay away from hide-and-seek.
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Bob Bennett, WDIV News 4, Detroit, reporting on a flood that destroyed some suburban basement apartments.
Water generally flows downhill in this area.
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Mark Twain
There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
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Janos Arnay
In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities.
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Aldous Huxley
Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards.
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