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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Short Quotations - 119
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George Meredith
Who rises from a prayer a better man, his prayer is answered.
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Joan Didion
California: The west coast of Iowa.
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Michel Eyquem de Montaigne
Children's playthings are not sports and should be deemed as their most serious actions.
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Edgar Allan Poe, "Eleonora"
Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.
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Samuel Taylor Coleridge
He prayeth best who loveth best All things both great and small For the dear God who loveth us, He made and loveth all.
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Aesop, The Milkmaid and Her Pail
Do not count your chickens before they are hatched.
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P. G. Wodehouse
Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with, for when it comes in middle life it is apt to be serious.
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Oscar Fingall O\'Flahertie Wills Wilde
The mere mechanical technique of acting can be taught, but the spirit that is to give life to lifeless forms must be born in a man. No dramatic college can teach its pupils to think or to feel. It is Nature who makes our artists for us, though it may be Art who taught them their right mode of expression.
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Ronald Reagan
The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'
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Oprah Winfrey, O Magazine, August 2004
Getting my lifelong weight struggle under control has come from a process of treating myself as well as I treat others in every way.
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Eugene Peterson
If we get our information from the biblical material there is no doubt that the Christian life is a dancing, leaping, daring life.
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William Shakespeare
Thy words, I grant are bigger, for I wear not, my dagger in my mouth.
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