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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Short Quotations - 180
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Lyndon B. Johnson
I will do my best. That is all I can do. I ask for your help-and God's.
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e e cummings
Every answer asks a more beautiful question
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George Santayana
Before he sets out, the traveler must possess fixed interests and facilities to be served by travel.
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John Fitzgerald Kennedy
If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich.
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Ainsley Carry
I may not be where I want to be, But thank God I'm not where I used to be.
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Philip
If anything is certain, it is that change is certain. The world we are planning for today will not exist in this form tomorrow.
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E. M. Forster, Two Cheers for Democracy, 1951
If I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country.
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Charles De Gaulle
You may be sure that the Americans will commit all the stupidities they can think of, plus some that are beyond imagination.
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Deng Xiaoping
It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice.
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Seneca
If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable.
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Ben Franklin
He who falls in love with himself, will have no rivals.
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Henry David Thoreau
Why should we live with such hurry and waste of life We are determined to be starved before we are hungry. Men say that a stitch in time saves nine, and so they take a thousand stitiches today to save nine tomorrow.
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