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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Random Short Quotations - 145
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Bette Davis, The Lonely Life, 1962
My passions were all gathered together like fingers that made a fist. Drive is considered aggression today; I knew it then as purpose.
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American Proverb
A harvest of peace is produced from a seed of contentment.
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Will Rogers
There ought to be one day-- just one-- when there is open season on senators.
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Bob Moawad
Help others get ahead. You will always stand taller with someone else on your shoulders.
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Howard Scott
Criminal A person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.
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Shakti Gawain
An affirmation is a strong, positive statement that somthing is already so.
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Shana Alexander
A plane is a bad place for an all-out sleep, but a good place to begin rest and recovery from the trip to the faraway places you've been, a decompression chamber between Here and There. Though a plane is not the ideal place really to think, to reassess or reevaluate things, it is a great place to have the illusion of doing so, and often the illusion will suffice.
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Walter Savage Landor
Heat and animosity, contest and conflict, may sharpen the wits, although they rarely do; they never strengthen the understanding, clear the perspicacity, guide the judgment, or improve the heart.
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Sir Winston Churchill
It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time.
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Groucho Marx
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
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En Vogue, Free Your Mind
Free your mind, and the rest will follow. Be colorblind, don’t be so shallow.
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A. Sachs
Death is more universal than life everyone dies but not everyone lives.
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