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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Random Short Quotes - 76
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Rita Rudner
Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
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Terri Gulick
If it's meant to be it's up to me.
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Friedrich Nietzsche
One should never know too precisely whom one has married.
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Homer
Whoever obeys the gods, to him they particularly listen.
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Paul Valery
That which has always been accepted by everyone, everywhere, is almost certain to be false.
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Socrates
The shortest and surest way to live with honour in the world, is to be in reality what we would appear to be; and if we observe, we shall find, that all human virtues increase and strengthen themselves by the practice of them.
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Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield
Be wiser than other people if you can but do not tell them so.
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Immanuel Kant, FUNDAMENTAL PRINCIPLES OF THE METAPHYSICS OF ETHICS
To be beneficent when we can is a duty; and besides this, there are many minds so sympathetically constituted that, without any other motive of vanity or self-interest, they find a pleasure in spreading joy around them, and can take delight in the satisfaction of others so far as it is their own work. But I maintain that in such a case an action of this kind, however proper, however amiable it may be, has nevertheless no true moral worth, but is on a level with other inclinations. ... For the maxim lacks the moral import, namely, that such actions be done from duty, not from inclination.
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Pierre Elliott Trudeau
Let us overthrow the totems, break the taboos. Or better, let us consider them cancelled. Coldly, let us be intelligent.
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Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Give what you have. To some it may be better than you dare think.
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Susanne Langer
In human life, art may arise from almost any activity, and once it does so, it is launched on a long road of exploration, invention, freedom to the limits of extravagance, interference to the point of frustration, finally discipline, controlling constant change and growth.
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Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can’t see from the centre.
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