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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Random Short Quotes - 121
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Thucyclides
Those who really deserve praise are the people who, while human enough to enjoy power, nevertheless pay more attention to justice than they are compelled to do by their situation.
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Heda Bejar
The fragrance always remains in the hand that gives the rose.
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Lyndon B. Johnson
If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read President Can't Swim.
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Quentin Crisp
Father Time is not always a hard parent, and, though he tarries for none of his children, often lays his hand lightly upon those who have used him well making them old men and women inexorably enough, but leaving their hearts and spirits young and in full vigour. With such people the grey head is but the impression of the old fellow's hand in giving them his blessing, and every wrinkle but a notch in the quiet calendar of a well-spent life.
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Edmund Burke
No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers of acting and reasoning as fear.
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George Burns
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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Denis Waitley
Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.
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Anna Quindlen
Women are the glue that hold our day-to-day world together.
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Jonathan Swift
It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into.
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Theocritus of Chios
Now begins a torrent of words and a trickling of sense.
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Henry Louis Mencken
No man ever quite believes in any other man.
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Stanislaw Lec
Thoughts, like fleas, jump from man to man, but they don't bite everybody.
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