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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Random Short Quotes - 107
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Henry James
Three things in human life are important the first is to be kind the second is to be kind and the third is to be kind.
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Arthur Schopenhauer
The closing years of life are like the end of a masquerade party when the masks are dropped.
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Thomas Fuller
I can sympathise with people's pains, but not with their pleasures. There is something curiously boring about somebody else's happiness.
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Paul Brooks, The Pursuit of Wilderness (1971)
We shall never understand the natural environment until we see it as a living organism. Land can be healthy or sick, fertile or barren, rich or poor, lovingly nurtured or bled white. Our present attitudes and laws governing the ownership and use of land represent an abuse of the concept of private property.... Today you can murder land for private profit. You can leave the corpse for all to see and nobody calls the cops.
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Phillips Brooks
Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men. Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for powers equal to your tasks. Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle, but you shall be the miracle.
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Ernestine Ulmer
Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.
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Maurice Chevalier
Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives.
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Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
One often contradicts an opinion when what is uncongenial is really the tone in which it was conveyed.
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Aleister Crowley
The essence of independence has been to think and act according to standards from within, not without. Inevitably anyone with an independent mind must become one who resists or opposes authority or established conventions: a rebel. If enough people come to agree with, and follow, the Rebel, we now have a Devil. Until, of course, still more people agree. And then, finally, we have --- Greatness.
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Isaac Newton
I keep the subject of my inquiry constantly before me, and wait till the first dawning opens gradually, by little and little, into a full and clear light.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
A friend is one before whom I may think aloud.
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George Carlin
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
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