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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Sarcastic Random Short Quotations - 116

Henry Ford

Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.


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Hugh Elliott, Standing Room Only weblog, 06-02-04

When a miracle happens, even if not to you, it’s nature is to naturally expand. You can almost feel the warmth on your face.


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Franklin P. Jones

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.


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Kevin Meyers

When life is kicking others in the teeth, Become a dentist.


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Friedrich Nietzsche

He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.


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Kevin R. Hutson

Time is like a river. It flows one direction, But with a little force you can go back. But like a river, Everything you do has a ripple.


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William Shakespeare, "Measure for Measure", Act 2 scene 1

Some rise by sin, and some by virtue fall.


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Oscar Fingall O\'Flahertie Wills Wilde

Children begin by loving their parents. After a time they judge them. Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.


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Sophocles

Ignorant men don't know what good they hold in their hands until they've flung it away.


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Elie Wiesel, Chicago Sun-Times, November 5, 2001

Education in the key to preventing the cycle of violence and hatred that marred the 20th century from repeating itself in the 21st century.


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Bob Newhart

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.


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J. R. R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.



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