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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Short Quotes - 119
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Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf
...obstacles do not exist to be surrendered to, but only to be broken.
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Martin Luther King, Jr.
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhwre. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.
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Robert Louis Stephenson
You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving.
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Ronald Reagan
We have the means to change the laws we find unjust or onerous. We cannot, as citizens, pick and choose the laws we will or will not obey. (On dismissing '12
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Charles Darwin
An American Monkey after getting drunk on Brandy would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.
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Jim Samuels
The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to everybody and still nobody likes him.
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Margaret Cho
Thankfully, beauty is easier to remove than apply, and a swipe of demaquillage in the right direction and you are you once again.
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Jean de la Bruyere
Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think.
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George Orwell
If people cannot write well, they cannot think well, and if they cannot think well, others will do their thinking for them.
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Gustave Flaubert
That man has missed something who has never left a brothel at sunrise feeling like throwing himself into the river out of pure disgust.
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Richard Dehmel
A little kindness from person to person is better than a vast love for all humankind.
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William Shakespeare
Sweet are the uses of adversity, which, like a toad, though ugly and venomous, wears yet a precious jewel in its head.
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