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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Short Quotations - 130
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Aesop
No act of kindness, no matter how small, is wasted.
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Fyodor Dostoevsky
The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half.
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Thomas Alva Edison
Being busy does not always mean real work. The object of all work is production or accomplishment and to either of these ends there must be forethought, system, planning, intelligence, and honest purpose, as well as perspiration. Seeming to do is not doing.
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Epictetus
We have two ears and one mouth so we may listen more and talk the less.
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John Locke
Our incomes are like our shoes; if too small, they gall and pinch us; but if too large, they cause us to stumble and to trip.
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Geoffrey Chaucer
There's never a new fashion but it's old.
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George MacDonald
Work is not always required. There is such a thing as sacred idleness.
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John Fitzgerald Kennedy
I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot. Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
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Norman Lear
Life is made up of small pleasures. Happiness is made up of those tiny successes. The big ones come too infrequently. And if you don't collect all these tiny successes, the big ones don't really mean anything.
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William Ralph Inge
Events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter.
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Blessing Irish
May there always be work for your hands to do, May your purse always hold a coin or two. May the sun always shine warm on your windowpane, May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain. May the hand of a friend always be near you, And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.
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Peter de Jager
Sometimes being pushed to the wall gives you the momentum necessary to get over it!
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