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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Crazy Random Short Quotations - 153

Mark Twain

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell you see, I have friends in both places.


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Dorothy Thompson

Courage, it would seem, is nothing less than the power to overcome danger, misfortune, fear, injustice, while continuing to affirm inwardly that life with all its sorrows is good that everything is meaningful even if in a sense beyond our understanding and that there is always tomorrow.


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Pericles, from Plutarch, Lives

Trees, though they are cut and lopped, grow up again quickly, but if men are destroyed, it is not easy to get them again.


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Martin Luther

If you're not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don't want to go there.


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David Sarnoff

Success, in a generally accepted sense of the term, means the opportunity to experience and to realize to the maximum the forces that are within us.


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Ralph Waldo Emerson

Here is the world, sound as a nut, perfect, not the smallest piece of chaos left, never a stitch nor an end, not a mark of haste, or botching, or second thought; but the theory of the world is a thing of shreds and patches.


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Cicero

Men decide far more problems by hate, love, lust, rage, sorrow, joy, hope, fear, illusion, or some other inward emotion, than by reality, authority, any legal standard, judicial precedent, or statute.


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Eugene O\'Neill

Happiness hates the timid So does science


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La Rochefoucauld

It is with true love as it is with ghosts everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.


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Thomas a Kempis

Endeavor to be always patient of the faults and imperfections of others for thou has many faults and imperfections of thine own that require forbearance. If thou are not able to make thyself that which thou wishest, how canst thou expect to mold another in conformity to thy will?


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James Thurber

It had only one fault. It was kind of lousy.


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Vachel Lindsay

Never be a cynic, even a gentle one. Never help out a sneer, even at the devil.



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