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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Random Short Quotes - 51
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Sallust
Small communities grow great through harmony, great ones fall to pieces through discord.
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Benjamin Franklin
I am in the prime of senility.
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Rudyard Kipling
On the road to Mandalay Where the flyin' fishes play, An' the dawn comes up like thunder outer China 'crost the bay.
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Montesquieu
Author A fool who, not content with having bored those who have lived with him, insists on tormenting generations to come.
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Maurice Chevalier
If you wait for the perfect moment when all is safe and assured, it may never arrive. Mountains will not be climbed, races won, or lasting happiness achieved.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you were a pirate, you know what would be the one thing that would really make you mad Treasure chests with no handles. How the hell are you supposed to carry it
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Vladimir Vladimirovich Nabokov
My loathings are simple stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music.
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Oscar Fingall O\'Flahertie Wills Wilde
These are the soul's changes. I don't believe in aging. I believe in forever altering one's aspect to the sun. Hence my optimism.
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Tom Stoppard
Happiness is equilibrium. Shift your weight. Equilibrium is pragmatic. You have to get everything into proportion. You compensate, rebalance yourself so that you maintain your angle to the world. When the world shifts, you shift.
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Sir Walter Besant
England and America are two countries separated by the same language.
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Niccola Sebastiani
If someone tells you that the fully armored man of the Middle Ages was so encumbered by his armor that he could not rise if he fell, you may well ask yourself, first, if it is reasonable to assume that professional soldiers would go on wearing armor that kept them from fighting and second, if this theory is in line with what you know of the heavily armored men of your personal acquaintance.
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Charles Caleb Colton
He that knows himself, knows others and he that is ignorant of himself, could not write a very profound lecture on other men's heads.
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