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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Silly Random Short Quotations - 172
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Plato, The Republic
Astronomy compels the soul to look upwards and leads us from this world to another.
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Marge Piercy
Long hair is considered bohemian, which may be why I grew it, but I keep it long because I love the way it feels, part cloak, part fan, part mane, part security blanket.
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John Archibald Wheeler, American J. of Physics, 1978, 46, 323
Time is what prevents everything from happening at once.
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Clare Boothe Luce
There are no hopeless situations; There are only people who have grown hopeless about them.
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Francois De La Rochefoucauld
To be deceived by our enemies or betrayed by our friends in insupportable; yet by ourselves we are often content to be so treated.
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Christopher Darlington Morley
There is only one success ... to be able to spend your life in your own way, and not to give others absurd maddening claims upon it.
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Reinhold Niebuhr
All you earnest young men out to save the world please, have a laugh.
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Theophrastus, from Diogenes Laertius, Lives of Eminent Philosophers
Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.
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William Arthur Ward
Opportunity is often difficult to recognize we usually expect it to beckon us with beepers and billboards.
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Casino
Nicky I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance tomorrow morning ill get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank and... walk in and see and uh... if you don't have my money for me, I'll... crack your f***in' head wide-open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time I'm comin' out of jail, hopefully, you'll be coming out of your coma. And guess what I'll split your f***in' head open again. 'Cause I'm f***in' stupid. I don't give a f*** about jail. That's my business. That's what I do.
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Jean Jacques Rousseau
Happiness a good bank account, a good cook and a good digestion.
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Ronald Reagan
My fellow Americans I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes. (Comment while testing a microphone before a broadcast 11 Aug 84)
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