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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Random Short Quotes - 127
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Sir Walter Scott
He that climbs the tall tree has won right to the fruit.
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George Stanley McGovern
The longer the title, the less important the job.
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Otto Von Bismarck
Show me an objective worthy of war and I will go along with you.
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Oscar Fingall O\'Flahertie Wills Wilde
There is always something ridiculous about the emotions of people whom one has ceased to love.
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Unknown
In our daily lives, we must see That it is not happiness that makes us grateful, But the gratefulness that makes us happy.
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Laertius Diogenes
Chilo advised, not to speak evil of the dead.
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Thomas Jefferson
I read no newspaper now but Ritchie's, and in that chiefly the advertisements, for they contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
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From Petronii Arbitri Satyricon AD 66 (Attributed to Gaius Petronus, a Roman General who later committed suicide)
We trained hard, but it seemed every time we were beginning to form up into teams, we would be reorganised. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganising, and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralisation.
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Edmund Spenser
A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel that it may be very kind.
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Diogenes Laertius
The foundation of every state is the education of its youth.
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Will Durant
The laws that Charondas gave to Catana,... A man might divorce his wife, or a wife her husband, said Charondas, but then he or she must not marry anyone younger than the divorced mate.
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Saul Bellow
A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep.
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