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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Random Short Quotations - 135
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Sir Winston Churchill
History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
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Archbishop William Temple, 1955
It is a mistake to suppose that God is only, or even chiefly, concerned with religion.
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Henri Bergson
Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought.
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Bill Clinton, announcement of Next Generation Internet initiative, 1996
When I took office, only high energy physicists had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web.... Now even my cat has its own page.
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Chinese proverb
I dreamed a thousand new paths. . . I woke and walked my old one.
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Mary Wilson Little
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
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Henny Youngman
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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Denis Diderot
A thing is not proved just because no one has ever questioned it. What has never been gone into impartially has never been properly gone into. Hence scepticism is the first step toward truth. It must be applied generally, because it is the touchstone.
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Kareem Abdul-Jabar
My mother had to send me to the movies with my birth certificate, so that I wouldn't have to pay the extra fifty cents that the adults had to pay.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
Life is a perpetual instruction in cause and effect.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
I awoke with devout thanksgiving for my friends.
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Philip Crosby, Reflections on Quality
Quality has to be caused, not controlled.
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