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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Random Short Quotes - 56
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Newt Gingrich
I think one of the great problems we have in the Republican Party is that we don't encourage you to be nasty. We encourage you to be neat, obedient, loyal and faithful and all those Boy Scout words, which would be great around a campfire but are lousy in politics.
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Lao-Tzu
The journey of a thousand leagues begins from beneath your feet.
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Arabian Proverb
Four things come not back -- the spoken word, the sped arrow, the past life, and the neglected opportunity.
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Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, September 10
We presume that we would be ready for battle if confronted with a great crisis, but it is not the crisis that builds something within us—it simply reveals what we are made of already.
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Lao Tzu
He who loves the world as his body may be entrusted with the empire.
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Unknown
Success always occurs in private and failure in full public view.
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Ray Bradbury
You have to know how to accept rejection and reject acceptance.
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Helen Hunt Jackson
Wounded vanity knows when it is mortally hurt and limps off the field, piteous, all disguises thrown away. But pride carries its banner to the last and fast as it is driven from one field unfurls it in another, never admitting that there is a shade less honor in the second field than in the first, or in the third than in the second.
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Bertrand Russell
The main things which seem to me important on their own account, and not merely as means to other things, are knowledge, art, instinctive happiness, and relations of frendship or affection.
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Author Unknown
Imagination is the pontoon bridge making way for the timid feet of reason.
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Andy Rooney
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
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Gifford Pinchot
The vast possibilities of our great future will become realities only if we make ourselves responsible for that future.
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