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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Humorous Random Short Quotes - 65

George Aiken

If we were to wake up some morning and find that everyone was the same race, creed and color, we would find some other cause for prejudice by noon.


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Ronald Reagan

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.


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Anthony Robbins

It is not what we get. But who we become, what we contribute...that gives meaning to our lives.


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Peter Drucker

In business school classrooms they construct wonderful models of a nonworld.


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Ashley Montague

The deepest human defeat suffered by human beings is constituted by the difference between what one was capable of becoming and what one has in fact become.


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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

I remember how, in college, I got that part-time job as a circus clown, and how the children would laugh and laugh at me. I vowed, then and there, that I would get revenge.


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Arthur C. Clarke, The Exploration of Space, 1951

If we have learned one thing from the history of invention and discovery, it is that, in the long run - and often in the short one - the most daring prophecies seem laughably conservative.


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Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

The discovery of a new dish does more for human happiness than he discovery of a new star. Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are.


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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.


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Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

A mind once stretched by a new idea never regains its original dimension.


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Dr. Maxwell Maltz

Close scrutiny will show that most crisis situations are opportunities to either advance, or stay where you are.


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Anonymous

There are no thanks for a kindness, which has been delayed.



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