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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humour Random Short Quotations - 114
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Leslie Nielsen
'Who are you and how did you get in here' 'I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith.'
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Maxwell Planck
A scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light, but rather because its opponents eventually die and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it.
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Peter Drucker
In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the next meal would come from.
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Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes
People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.
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Mignon McLaughlin
There are so many things that we wish we had done yesterday, so few that we feel like doing today.
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Christopher Morley
Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to continually be part of unanimity.
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Dr. Jonas Salk
Life is an error-making and an error-correcting process, and nature in marking man's papers will grade him for wisdom as measured both by survival and by the quality of life of those who survive.
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Jean Anouilh
God is on everyone's side and in the last analysis, he is on the side with plenty of money and large armies.
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Napoleon Bonaparte
In politics stupidity is not a handicap.
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Elbert Hubbard
Men are punished by their sins, not for them.
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George Orwell, 1984
If you want to imagine the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face forever.
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George S. Patton
When in doubt, observe and ask questions. When certain, observe at length and ask many more questions.
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