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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Crazy Random Short Quotations - 113
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Herbert Agar
The truth that makes men free is for the most part the truth which men prefer not to hear.
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Laurence J. Peter, The Peter Principle (1969), chapter 1
Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.
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Margaret Halsey
Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own shortcomings, they gradually begin to seem mild, harmless, rather engaging little things, not at all like the staring defects in other people's characters.
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Oscar Wilde
Some cause happiness wherever they go others whenever they go.
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Zhou En Lai
Diplomacy is a continuation of war by other means.
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Roger Zelazny, The Courts of Chaos
My feelings would never change, but... now she was gone, and this thought meant more to me than the impending destruction of the world.
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Joe Lewis
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
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Leone Levi
Man has six organs to serve him and he is master only of three. He cannot control his eye, ear or nose, but he can his mouth, hand and foot.
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Albert Einstein
Ethical axioms are found and tested not very differently from the axioms of science. Truth is what stands the test of experience.
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W. Edward Brown
The artist has one function--to affirm and glorify life.
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Hermes
From one Soul of the Universe are all Souls derived. . .Of these Souls there are many changes, some into a more fortunate estate, and some quite contrary. . .Not all human souls but only the pious ones are divine. Once separated from the body, and after the struggle to acquire piety, which consists in knowing God and injuring none, such a soul becomes all intelligence. The impious soul, however, punishes itself by seeking a human body to enter into, for no other body can receive a human soul it cannot enter the body of an animal devoid of reason. Divine law preserves the human soul from such infamy. . .The soul passeth from form to form and the mansions of her pilgrimage are manifold. Thou puttest off thy bodies as raiment and as vesture dost thou fold them up. Thou art from old, O Soul of Man yea, thou art from everlasting.
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Bill Parcells
Success is never final, but failure can be.
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