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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Famous Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 86
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Lawrence Peter Berra
I think Little League is wonderful. It keeps the kids out of the house.
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Polish Proverb
Conscience is the voice of the soul.
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Sydney Smith
He had occasional flashes of silence, that made his conversation perfectly delightful.
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Will Rogers
Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.
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Sarah Vowell, Assassination Vacation (p. 208)
History is one war after another with a bunch of murders and natural disasters in between.
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Franklin D. Roosevelt
There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still.
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Rene Descartes
Nothing is more fairly distributed than common sense - no one needs more of it than one already has
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Garry Kasparov, Baltic Development Forum, Hamburg, September 13, 2004
It’s more easy to win a chess game in five minutes than it is to talk about Russia’s problems in 15 minutes
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Lou A. Riley
Relativity keeps anything from happening at once. Quantum mechanics keeps everything from really happening at all.
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Robert Burns
The best laid schemes o' Mice an' Men, Gang aft agley, An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain, For promis'd joy
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Charles Dickens
The law is sic a ass - a idiot.
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Robyn Davidson
The two important things I did learn were that you are as powerful and strong as you allow yourself to be, and that the most difficult part of any endeavor is taking the first step, making the first decision.
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