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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Famous Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 80
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Dale Carnegie
If you want to win friends, make it a point to remember them. If you remember my name, you pay me a subtle compliment; you indicate that I have made an impression on you. Remember my name and you add to my feeling of importance.
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Oren Arnold
Christmas gift suggestions To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.
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Michel de Montaigne
He who is not very strong in memory should not meddle with lying.
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Douglas Noel Adams
It's no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty as an airport' appear.
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Dag Hammarskjold
The longest journey is the journey inward.
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Aldous Huxley
There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that is your own self. So you have to begin there, not outside, not on other people. That comes afterwards, when you have worked on your own corner.
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Bill Clinton
When I took office, only high energy physicists had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web.... Now even my cat has its own page.
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Thucydides, Peloponnesian War
We secure our friends not by accepting favors but by doing them.
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Robert F. Kennedy
Few men are willing to brave the disapproval of their fellows, the censure of their colleagues, the wrath of their society. Moral courage is a rarer commodity than bravery in battle or great intelligence. Yet it is the one essential, vital quality for those who seek to change a world which yields most painfully to change.
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Evelyn Waugh
Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.
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Periander
Practice is everythingThis is often misquoted as Practice makes perfect.
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Jean Jacques Rousseau
God makes all things good; man meddles with them and they become evil.
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