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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Famous Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 55
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George Orwell
The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it.
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Niels Henrik David Bohr
Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.
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Leo Tolstoy
Happy families are all alike every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
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Vi Putnam
The entire sum of existence is the magic of being needed by just one other person.
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W. C. Fields
I never vote for anyone I always vote against.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Even though I was their captive, the Indians allowed me quite a bit of freedom. I could walk about freely, make my own meals, and even hurl large rocks at their heads. It was only later that I discovered they were not Indians at all, but dirty clothes hampers.
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William Hutton
The charity that hastens to proclaim its good deeds, ceases to be charity, and is only pride and ostentation.
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Trey and Matt Stone Parker
I love life...Yeah, I'm sad, but at the same time, I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like...It makes me feel alive, you know. It makes me feel human. The only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I'm feeling is like a beautiful sadness.
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H. Mathews
A man is too apt to forget that in this world he cannot have everything. A choice is all that is left him.
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Alexander Hamilton
Men give me credit for some genius. All the genius I have lies in this when I have a subject in hand, I study it profoundly. Day and night it is before me. My mind becomes pervaded with it. Then the effort that I have made is what people are pleased to call the fruit of genius. It is the fruit of labor and thought.
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Queen Elizabeth I
Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.
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Marshall McLuhan, "Gutenberg Galaxy", 1962
The new electronic interdependence recreates the world in the image of a global village.
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