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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humour Famous Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 104
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Samuel Johnson
Mankind have a great aversion to intellectual labor but even supposing knowledge to be easily attainable, more people would be content to be ignorant than would take even a little trouble to acquire it.
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Carl Sagan
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
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Tom Gates
That we can comprehend the little we know already is mindboggling in itself.
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Mark Twain, Speech in NYC, Jan. 22, 1906
The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong; he can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way.
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Shirley Temple
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.
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H.L. Mencken
The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught.
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George Ade
Anybody can win unless there happens to be a second entry.
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Wilbur Wright
It is possible to fly without motors, but not without knowledge and skill.
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Gertrude Stein
Silent gratitude isn't very much use to anyone.
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Douglas Adams
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
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Wilson Mizner
Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time.
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Arabic Proverb
To the pure, all things are pure.
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