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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Famous Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 37
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John Adams
The proposition that the people are the best keepers of their own liberties is not true. They are the worst conceivable, they are no keepers at all they can neither judge, act, think, or will, as a political body.
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Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all doing direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.
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Senator Patrick Leahy
You get fifteen democrats in a room, and you get twenty opinions.
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George Bernard Shaw
The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
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Mark Twain, "Advice to Youth" Speech, 1882
If a person offend you and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures. Simply watch your chance and hit him with a brick.
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Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.
Nothing is so frequent as to mistake an ordinary human gift for a special and extraordinary endowment.
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Oscar Wilde, The picture of Dorian Gray
Sin is the only real colour element left in modern life.
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Swingers
Trent Let me tell you something Mike your money, and you know what else, your a big winner. I'm gonna ask you a simple question and I want you to listen to me who's the big winner here tonight at the casino Huh Mikey, that's who. Mikey's the big winner. Mikey wins.
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Isha McKenzie-Mavinga
On reflection, one of the things I needed to learn was to allow myself to be loved.
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Mencius, Works
Never has a man who has bent himself been able to make others straight.
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Francis Bacon
Men in Great Place are thrice Servants Servants of the Sovereign or State Servants of Fame and Servants of Business It is strange desire to seek Power and to lose Liberty.
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Caskie Stinnett, Out of the Red (1960)
A diplomat... is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
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