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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 181
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Greg Norman
I'm disappointed, but I'm not going to run around like Dennis Rodman and head-butt somebody. (after losing the Masters tournament)
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Albert Einstein
A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life depends on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the measure as I have received and am still receiving.
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James Russell Lowell
One thorn of experience is worth a whole wilderness of warning.
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Clarence Darrow
The man who fights for his fellow-man is a better man than the one who fights for himself.
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Marion Woodman
It is amazing that our souls -- our eternal essences, with all their hopes an dreams and visions of an eternal world -- are contained within these temporal bodies.
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H. L. Mencken
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats.
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Honore\' de Balzac
The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.
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Alice Walker
Deliver me from writers who say the way they live doesn't matter. I'm not sure a bad person can write a good book, If art doesn't make us better, then what on earth is it for.
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Benjamin Franklin
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain, and most fools do.
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John Steinbeck, The Pastures of Heaven, p 56
After the bare requisites of living and reproducing, man wants most to leave some record of himself, a proof, perhaps, that he has really existed. He leaves his proof on wood, on stone, or on the lives of other people. This deep desire exists in everyone, from the boy who scribbles on a wall to the Buddha who etches his image in the race mind. Life is so unreal. I think that we seriously doubt that we exist and go about trying to prove that we do.
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Robinson Jeffers
Pleasure is the carrot dangled to lead the ass to market or the precipice.
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Edward Morgan Forster
In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people. Personal relations are the important thing for ever and ever and not this outer life of telegrams and anger.
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